A prayer for grief
If you're grieving and don't know what to pray, you can borrow these words. Read them slowly. Stop wherever you need to.
A prayer when you're grieving
God, I miss [Name]. I don't know how to do this. Some moments I can breathe, and some moments the loss knocks the air out of me all over again.
I don't need answers right now. I need You close. Sit with me in this. Carry what I can't carry, and give me enough strength for today, just today. Thank You for every year I had with them. Hold them, and hold me. Amen.
The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.
Short prayers for comfort
For the moments when a full prayer is too much. One breath each.
- Lord, I miss them. Stay with me. Amen.
- God, give me the strength to get through today. Amen.
- Jesus, You wept too. Weep with me. Amen.
- Father, comfort me in the places no one else can reach. Amen.
- Lord, let me sleep tonight. Amen.
Praying when you're angry, numb or full of questions
Grief doesn't always feel like sadness. Sometimes it's anger, sometimes it's nothing at all. The Bible gives us words for that, called lament: honest prayers that complain to God without walking away from Him.
How long wilt thou forget me, O LORD? for ever? how long wilt thou hide thy face from me?
A prayer of lament
God, where are You? I prayed, and they still died. I don't understand why, and part of me is angry with You. I'm telling You because I don't know who else to tell.
I won't pretend this is okay. But I'm still here, still talking to You. Don't let go of me, even when I want to let go of You. Amen.
When you feel numb
Lord, I don't feel anything today. I can't cry, and I can't pray much either. So I'm just going to sit here with You. Please be enough for both of us right now. Amen.
Prayer for a grieving friend
Every loss is different. Use the one that fits, and put your friend's name and their loved one's name in.
For a friend who lost a parent
Father, [Name] has lost their mom [or dad], and the world feels different without them. Comfort them in the memories, the phone calls they can't make, the advice they can't ask for anymore. Thank You for the love that parent gave. Let it keep holding [Name] up. Amen.
For a friend who lost a spouse
Lord, [Name] has lost the person they shared every day with. The house is too quiet, and the future they planned is gone. Be near to them in the empty side of the bed and the meals for one. Surround them with people who won't disappear after the funeral. Amen.
For parents who lost a child
God, there are no words for this. [Name] and [Name] have lost their child, and it's against everything that should be. Hold them together when they feel like they're falling apart. Hold their child in Your love. Give them comfort we can't give, and show us how to stay close. Amen.
For a miscarriage or pregnancy loss
Lord, [Name] has lost a baby they already loved and dreamed about. Many people won't know what to say, and some won't say anything. Let her [and her partner] know this loss is real and their grief is welcome. Heal her body and comfort their hearts. Amen.
For a friend who lost a friend
Jesus, [Name] lost a close friend, someone who knew them in a way nobody else did. Their grief is just as real as family grief, even if people treat it as smaller. Comfort them, and give them friends who will help carry the memories. Amen.
After a sudden loss
God, this happened so fast. One day [Name] was here, and now they're gone, with no goodbye. [Name] is in shock. Steady them. Help them through each phone call, decision and sleepless night. Where there are questions and regrets, give them Your peace. Amen.
Prayers for the first days and the funeral
The first week is a blur of calls, decisions and visitors. Pray for strength for the practical things, too.
For the first few days
Lord, everything is happening at once: arrangements, calls, people at the door. Give [Name] what they need to get through each task. Let them rest when they can, eat something, and let others help. Amen.
Before a funeral or memorial
Father, today we say goodbye to [Name]. Give the family strength to stand, to speak and to receive love from everyone who comes. Let the stories told today be true and tender. Thank You for this life, and help us hold on to the hope that death doesn't have the last word. Amen.
Prayers for anniversaries, holidays and birthdays
The hard dates come back every year. Write them on your calendar for a grieving friend, and send a message that day. It often means more than you'd guess.
On the anniversary of a death
God, it's been a year [or two, or ten], and today it feels fresh again. Thank You for [Name], and for every day we had. Be close today in the remembering. Let the tears come if they need to, and let a good memory or two come with them. Amen.
For a holiday without them
Lord, everyone is celebrating, and there's an empty chair at our table. Help us hold both the joy and the missing. Give us grace with each other today, and let us feel You near in the middle of it all. Amen.
On their birthday
Father, today would have been [Name]'s birthday. We remember who they were, how they laughed and what they loved. Thank You for giving them to us. Comfort us in missing them. Amen.
For the long months after
After a few weeks, most of the cards stop coming. That's often when grief gets heavier, not lighter.
When everyone else has moved on
Jesus, it's been months, and people have stopped asking. I'm still not okay. Thank You that You don't get tired of my grief. Keep meeting me in it. Show me who I can still talk to, and help me heal at the pace You know is right. Amen.
He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.
Christians grieve with hope, not instead of grieving. The Bible looks ahead to a day when sorrow ends. It's okay if that hope feels far away while the loss still hurts this much.
And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.
What to say to someone who is grieving, and what not to say
You don't need the perfect words. Showing up awkwardly is far better than staying away for fear of saying the wrong thing.
Things that help
- "I'm so sorry."
- "I don't know what to say, but I love you and I'm here."
- "I've been thinking about [Name]. I remember when they…" (Say their name. Most grieving people long to hear it.)
- "You don't need to reply. I'm praying for you today."
Things to avoid
- "Everything happens for a reason." It can feel like you're saying the loss was good or deserved.
- "God needed another angel." It isn't what the Bible teaches, and it makes God sound like the one who took them.
- "They're in a better place." It may be true, but in the early days it can feel like you're rushing past the pain.
- "I know exactly how you feel." Even similar losses feel different. Ask instead.
- "At least…" Any sentence starting this way tends to shrink the loss.
Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.
Texts you can send
I'm so sorry about your dad. I'm praying for you today. No need to write back.
Thinking of you and [Name] today. I miss them too.
I know today is a hard one. I'm praying for you and I'm here if you want company.
I'm going to the store tomorrow. Can I drop off groceries? I'll leave them at the door.
Practical ways to care for a grieving friend
Prayer and practical help go hand in hand. These are the things people remember.
- 1
Do one specific thing
Mow the lawn, pick up relatives from the airport, walk the dog. "What can I do?" is hard to answer; a specific offer is easy to accept.
- 2
Show up for the funeral
Go even if you didn't know the person well. Families notice who came.
- 3
Mark the hard dates
Note the anniversary, their loved one's birthday and the first holidays. A message on those days says, "I haven't forgotten."
- 4
Keep checking in
Send a message at one month, three months and six months. Our guide on asking how you can pray has gentle ways to ask.
- 5
Let them talk, or not
Some people want to tell the story again and again. Others need you to sit and watch a movie. Follow their lead.
When grief feels like too much
Grief is not something to fix, but sometimes it needs more support than friends and prayer can give.
If grief feels overwhelming for weeks on end, or you can't sleep, eat or get through the day, please talk to a counselor, a doctor or a pastor you trust. Getting help is not a lack of faith.
If you're thinking about ending your life
Please reach out now. In the US, you can call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, any time, day or night. If you're worried about a friend, stay with them and help them make that call.
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Let your closest friends carry this with you
PrayerBoard is coming soon: a private circle for the few people you trust, where you can share what you need and see who's praying for you.
Free, with no ads. We'll only email you about the launch.
Questions people ask
What is a good prayer for grief?
One that's honest. Tell God who you lost and how it feels, ask Him to stay near, and ask for strength for today only. A few plain sentences, or even just a name and a sigh, is a real prayer.
How do I pray for a grieving friend?
Pray for comfort, rest and people who will keep showing up for them. Pray for the specific hard moments ahead, like the funeral or the first holiday, and let your friend know you're praying without expecting a reply.
Is it okay to be angry at God when grieving?
Yes. Many of the Psalms are prayers of lament that ask God hard questions, like Psalm 13. Bringing your anger to God is still praying, and it's far better than pretending.
What should you not say to someone who is grieving?
Avoid phrases that explain the loss away, like "everything happens for a reason" or "God needed another angel." Simple words like "I'm so sorry" and "I'm here" are kinder.
